A Dance with Death (good thing I'm a good dancer :)

So I know I dropped off the face of the planet for 6 months, but I got pregnant in Aug and I just didn't feel like blogging, you know how that goes.
I have had quite the experience this last month and a half, and I thought it was time to get back into the blogging game. Let me catch you up on my crazy "I should be dead right now" experience.

       Sunday Dec 16 I woke up SO sick. Worse than I remembered the flu being, but we just figured that it hit me harder then normal cause I was pregnant. Back pain, and stomach pain too. Monday I was keeping liquids down, but not eating, Tuesday no progress, still in pain. Wednesday I went in to my dr, who sent me down to urgent care for an IV cause I was dehydrated. It helped, for a little. That night I woke up with the worst pain in my abdomen. Indescribable. 6 hours solid. At least in labor it stops every once in a while; to say that it hurt like the dickens would not even come close to describing the pain. I had a priesthood blessing to help me relax, and I was able to get some rest. The pain would flare up after that, but it wasn't constant. I called the dr and guess what his nurse told me drink plenty of fluid and get lots of rest . FOR REAL? I told her I was having stomach cramps (Of course I was a dummy and didn't mention the 6 straight hours of pain) She said that sometimes that happens after the flu. But I could come in and see the dr the next day if I wanted. It didn't sound like he was going to do anything, so I didn't go in on friday.
        Friday night/Saturday morning I had a miscarriage and was bleeding a lot, we went in to the ER and waited 1 1/2 hours untill the Nurse actually saw how bad i was bleeding and they rushed me into a room. I had a D&C on Saturday. At this point we were sad about the loss, but also relieved that I was going to get better. It was the longest, hardest week of my life (so far, I had no idea what I was in for) and I was glad to have it over with.
     
        First red flag: dr that did the procedure said there was a lot of puss which is not normal. Red flag number 2 before they sent me home the nurse noticed my stomach was big, and firm. And yes, it still hurt. She questioned it and thought it was strange. They checked my blood, it was really low, they called my dr and he said I would be fine and they sent me home, bloated and anemic. Yay, fun.

        One week later I was not getting better, meanwhile I had several prayers and fasting in my behalf, not to mention my name was on the prayer roll of several temples. Mark gave me another priesthood blessing. The following week I still was not improving. The whole time I was able to drink, but not eat. I managed maybe 2 small meals since the day I got sick. I started having low grade fevers, I got one just about every afternoon. Then Thursday I got a bad fever, I took my temp 104.6. The kids were at a friends, Mark was at work so I called a friend to take me to urgent care.

        After several hours and every test they could do, they admitted me to the hospital. The Dr said I had 3 things that would admit me to the hospital. 3 separate things, no wonder I felt like trash. Dangerously low potassium, dangerously anemic, and a bowel obstruction.

       That night they did a CT scan and then when I got back in my room they said they were going to put a tube down my throat that would help suck the gas out. I was ok with that, my stomach was so bloated I looked 7 months pregnant. (Not kidding) It was very painful. But I didn't realize the tube was going to be in for more than a day, I thought they would take it out right after surgery....ha ha ha, Silly Sarah. It went up my nose and down my throat and into my stomach. Not fun getting it in.

        I had a lot of first time (and hopefully last time) experiences with this hospital visit. That first night I got to have my first experience (and second and third and...) with a bed pan.....that was... odd, and uncomfortable.

         Next morning Friday Jan 4 they wanted to put a scope down me before surgery to better access what needed to be done. I was NOT looking forward to any more anything going down my throat. My surgeon finally came out and said no, this girl needs to be in surgery, we will figure it out when we get in there. That's the last thing I remember before surgery. I was just happy they weren't going to put anything else down me.

      Now I'll pause from telling you my experience and I'll let you know what was going on medically. I didn't find this out for another week cause I was so out of it...Lots of pain followed the week after surgery. They removed 3 abscesses from my intestine, and took out two 6-8 inch pieces of my small intestine that had died. Everything was very red and inflamed and as my dr put it "Angry looking" Apparently my Appendix had ruptured and caused all this mess. He said it was the worst he had ever seen, and I'm very lucky to be here. When I finally came to enough to absorb information (information that I had been told 4 times already) I realized that everything made sense.  That stomach flu that was worse than normal wasn't the flu at all, It was the start of appendicitis, that's what the weird pain in my back and stomach was. The intense pain on Wednesday night was when it ruptured. I was sitting at home for 2 1/2 weeks with a ruptured appendix.

      How did I survive? How did I even function? The power of the priesthood. The power and authority to act in the name of Jesus Christ. I'm so grateful for it. Also the faith of all my family and friends who fasted and prayed for me. Faith can do amazing things.

     First thing I remember after surgery was waking up in a panic not being able to breathe. I was hooked up to a respirator. Yes, ANOTHER tube down my throat, this one was large and ridged like the straws that come in those big 32 oz cups. You know the ones that whistle when you blow through them. So I panicked cause I couldn't breathe, then I heard a guy talk me through it. He calmed me down and got me to breath normally. Which was weird, no air went through my mouth, nose or throat. I just felt my lungs inflate and then deflate and it was all very mechanical. Such a weird feeling. I was in and out of sleep for several hours, but even after I woke up I wondered why I was still hooked up to the respirator. I had to do a couple breathing tests before he took the tube out. I'm glad I was so out of it, cause that REALLY hurt.

When I found out that Mark took this picture I wasn't supper happy, but he said he took it to remind him of how bad it was. How close I was to not making it. I decided that maybe it's not such a bad thing to have. Don't avoid the hospital cause it might be too expensive, cause you just never know. I had no idea that it would take that much seriously bad health to get me into a hospital. High pain tolerance is not always a good thing :) So here it is, this is me just after surgery.

       The next week is a bit of a blur. I had a total of 6 IV's, usually 2 or 3 in use at one time. I had that NG tube down my throat, so I was not aloud to eat or drink ANYTHING, not even ice chips. My mouth was painfully dry (I got a rough sponge on a stick I could wet and rub on my lips and mouth when I needed) and I was super hungry. Dressing changes every 12 hours. VERY VERY VERY painful that first week.

        I know that I got about 6 bags of blood over the course of the first week. Yeah....to say I was anemic was an understatement. And after about 4 bags I started noticing a difference, a good difference.

        My incision was left open, no stitches or staples. It's growing together from the inside out. When you stitch or staple the out side it grows from the outside in, leaving a gap inside where infection can grow. Because of the severity of my insides, my dr decided to leave it open. Wet gauze is packed in the incision, then a dry pad is placed on top and taped down. When the gauze is pulled out it cleans the incision.

     Once my dressing change was done at 18 hours, not 12 hours and the gauze got VERY dry. My nurse was very efficient, and ripped it out like a band aid. NOT A GOOD IDEA!!!! Usually I'm an advocate of get it over quickly, but NOT in the case of a fresh dressing change, slow is GOOD. Then because of the way she pulled it out so quick, repacking was really painful too. I was glad that was the last time she was assigned to be my nurse. My other nurses were much more gentile.
 
          Back to that first week, I was getting so much fluid from my IV's it was collecting everywhere. My legs and feet were huge.

       Pictures DON'T do it justice. So swollen I thought they would burst. I had a cathader in that whole first week, which at one point had to be redone cause it wasn't working. I was in pain from my incision, and pain from swelling EVERYWHERE, and in pain from the fluid in my lungs. When they would lay me down even 1/2 way down in my bed I would gasp for air, I felt like I was suffocating and the pain was a sharp stabbing pain in my left side that got worse when i would breath out all the way, or it would get worse if I took in too much air. Eventually it would settle and I could relax. I had no strength so I couldn't move my self so my back was very sore. When they would put pillows under me to re-position me the fluid would hurt all over again.

        Often I was in so much pain I would just sit with my eyes closed and hope to fall asleep. I was constantly so tired (I'm sure a lot of it had to do with the pain meds I was pumped full of). I was so tired that when I would need to do something, like push my pain button, or push the nurse call button, or adjust my bed, I would fall asleep and dream that I had done it and then wake up and realize I hadn't. Sometimes I would do that 2 or 3 times before I got the strength to move my arm and do what ever it was I needed to do.

      The NG tube was in for 8 days. The day before it came out I was aloud ice chips. Then they took it out and I was aloud water. The next day i was on full liquids, which was unpleasant, cause it was nasty hospital food and my throat was still swollen from the tube.
                                    
             And after not eating anything for several weeks, it just seemed easier not to eat. I did my best, mostly I just drank milk and juice that day. Then the glorious day came that I got to eat real food! But unfortunately the only food at the hospital I like is their cheese burgers. I ate a lot of cheese burgers. But I didn't mind, it was food that I got to chew, and I got pickles. I LOVES me some pickles. :)

      I was in the hospital for 11 days. Which was great cause they told us it would be 2 weeks. Home has been amazing! Every day I see progress. My dressing still needs to be changed twice a day, so Mark does it. Sometimes he has to leave early so I have an awesome friend, Angie, who is a nurse, who lives in my neighborhood, and she takes time out of her day to come change it for me. Once a week Home Health sends a nurse to check it. She measures it, takes a picture and brings more supplies.

      My incision does not hurt any more. The dressing changes don't hurt either. Pulling the tape off is now the worst part. I have a binder that wraps around my stomach and gives me extra support and protection. But the dr said I only really need to wear it when I leave the house. I still have fluid in my left lung but I'm working my best to get it out. couching, breathing deep and moving around will get it out. It flares up sometimes but it's usually not noticeable. My incision is closing up fairly quickly now. I'll post pictures at the bottom of the progress of my incision for those who want to see it. But for those who don't want to see it I will give warning and leave plenty of scroll room. :) I no longer need my prescription, I just take Tylenol when needed.

     I thought recovery  would be like it was with my C sections. NOPE, apparently when recovering from something that should have KILLED you, it is a little more intense. My mom has been keeping my kids for me for the last 3 week and will keep them till I'm totally healed. Which means my incision has to be closed and I have to be able to lift my kids. She brings them in when I want to see them, but it's still hard not having them all the time.

        I have been so blessed through all of this. I have felt the love of so many around me, family, friends, acquaintances  and even complete strangers. Thank you for all your prayers, it has been an amazing experience, I have learned a lot. Things you can only learn through a trial.







Pictures are next










Last chance to scroll up

Jan 13, 9 days post op. I forgot to tell you about the drain tube. You can see where it goes in my side. It's the lower right corner of the picture. At the other end of the tube there was a clear bulb that collected all the drainage. It filled with a pink watery liquid, but sometimes it got these weird tissue looking things. They emptied it and measured the liquid with each dressing change. It didn't hurt at all, it was just annoying cause it would leak from my side if not dressed properly. One time when I went for a walk it dripped down my leg the whole time. gross gross gross. 

Sunday Jan 23

 Thursday Jan 27

It's really cool to watch it close up, I can see a little progress with each dressing change.